I have a very wide range of emotions when I wake up on the morning of August 14. It took me a while to fall asleep the previous night, and I haven’t been in bed for more than six hours before I’m awake and my mind is running again.
Up until this morning, leaving for Uganda has not felt real. I have been so busy working during the day, saying my goodbyes to friends and family in the evening, then staying up late into the night packing. The reality of leaving had not yet sunk in. But this morning I feel it.
I remember waking up and thinking, “Oh my gosh, it’s today.” I feel all these things I don’t want to feel and know I shouldn’t. I feel nervous about everything that could go wrong in my 38 hours of traveling. I’m concerned about the amount and weight of my luggage. I’m nervous to say goodbye to my parents and the wave of emotions that will come from that. I’m thinking ahead to my overnight layover in Dubai and somehow trying to plan out how I will get to my hotel. I’m concerned about all these ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes.’
I’m excited to leave for Uganda, but mostly just excited to arrive. I feel a longing to already be there, settled in, and done with the chaos.
In the past few days many many things have popped up, trying to derail my focus and give me stress. These things are not even worth naming because I know they are the enemy’s attempts to cause me to forget that I am on a journey, an assignment from God.
This time around, my stress level is way higher than the first time I went to Uganda. Last night, in a short conversation with my friend Patrice, we discussed how the enemy is really trying to throw me off course. He’s trying to keep me from whatever incredible plans God has in store for me. It occurred to me that he is trying so hard because he is afraid of the even greater glory that will be revealed as I take these steps into the destiny God has designed for me. Last time I went to Uganda, that was just a preview. That was like the little kid rides at an amusement park. Now the enemy can be scared, because this time is the real deal. I’ve devoted my life to this, and he’s not happy about it. I’ve got a one way ticket and nothing is stopping me. The enemy loses again.
This morning as I lay in bed and shuffle through my mental stack of worries, concerns, and list of last minute errands, God reminds me that His word says “the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still,” (Exodus 14:14)
I’m trying really hard to push aside those annoying thoughts and focus on these truths: 1. God called me out of America to Uganda to begin a journey, bringing me closer to Him, 2. God will never leave me or forsake me, 3. I don’t have to fight my own battles, God will do it for me.
Please join me in this adventure by praying for me. I will needs LOTS of prayer over the next two years, but for now, please pray for traveling mercies over the next few days. Pray that I will not have unnecessary problems and God will protect me. Please pray that I will be still and remember the Lord God goes before me, and He will guard my path.
I am beyond excited to be back in Uganda-I have trouble holding my body parts still when I start thinking about it. I’m eager to be back in the country that sets a fire in my heart and see what God has planned there.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”