How Being Used Can Feel Good

As I write this it is Thursday afternoon, about 5 o’clock. I’ve been in Uganda for 9 days. Today is not quite as blistering hot as the days normally feel to someone who just left a state buried in snow. It’s days like this that all I can do is marvel at where God has me right now. How did I find myself in this beautiful place, doing ministry of all things. Since when am I equipped to do that? Today was a testimony to the sneaky way God uses those who are perfect by no means.

Today I prepared and gave my first sermon….to a group of male Ugandan prisoners. We visit the prison every Thursday afternoon. Last Thursday while there, I stood up and gave my testimony of how I came to know Christ, which as an upper middle class white woman, I feel is very unordinary. I left that day proud that I had showed boldness in Christ but feeling as if I probably hadn’t touched many lives.

This morning at Show Mercy, after our weekly full staff meeting, a fellow intern, Jen, and I went up to Tom, a member of the outreach department, and asked what we would be doing at the the prison today. Tom said he was just about to go and plan his sermon. I suggested maybe he could do it on the bible lesson we taught to the kids on Saturday-Jesus healing the ten lepers (Luke 17:11-18). I suggested that this bible story reminds us to always give thanks to the Lord, and when these men leave jail they should remember to thank God like the one leper who returned to Jesus.

Tom replied, “Oh good, you do it.”

Um….what?

I don’t dislike public speaking as much as most people. I’m outgoing and don’t usually mind attention on me. But after I accepted the offer to preach I was overcome with this question, “What in the world am I going to say?”

I’ve heard countless sermons before in my life but never have I given one. And these people have endured things I cannot imagine. They have felt feelings I can’t begin to understand. Oh, and we don’t even speak the same language!

I had two hours to prepare my talk and eat lunch before heading out to the prison. Jen agreed to help me write the sermon as long as I was the one giving it and I am very grateful for her help and support. At one point Tom came over to our porch and reminded me to bring everything back to the salvation that is found in Jesus. Without that advice, who knows, I could have concluded my preaching by talking about ice cream and ant hills- it was my first sermon after all.

I wrote out several notes on Leprosy, Samaritans, and thanking God at all times. I complained more than once about how much easier this would be with Google and rewrote the notes again. As the planning went on it became apparent I needed to address these men not as prisoners, but as people. The sermon became a teaching that I myself could stand to hear more often: Jesus can cleanse us of all that makes us unclean and God can use you and your story, no matter how broken. I finished up writing my notes and went off to lunch where my fellow mzungus encouraged me as we ate pasta salad and the freshest pineapple you can imagine. Then Jen, Tom, Michael (outreach staff), Anthony (Ugandan intern), and I set off.

On the (extremely bumpy) ride to the prison, I read over my notes and asked the Holy Spirit to give me words. Give me the words oh God-my sermon was supposed to be about 30 minutes in length and I had one side of one page filled with notes.

When we arrive at the prison we always start with praise in worship which is very different in Africa. Both times I have been there it surprises me how many of the male inmates join in and praise the Lord. We have been told that whether or not they are Christian, they know the songs from hearing them while growing up in the villages. I, obviously, don’t speak fluent Lugandan so I cannot really sing along so at this time I continue to ask the Lord to give me the words that these men need to hear.

Jen begins the teaching by reading the story from Luke in English, and then one man reads it from a flappy Lugandan bible that lays around the prison and all of a sudden it is my turn.

I didn’t yell like the pastors here in Africa and in some places in America do. I used my hands a bit. I used my notes less than I thought I would. I said more than I had written down. I tried to be bold.

I am thankful to Anthony that translates for me. While he speaks I have a few seconds to form my next thought coherently.

At the end I invite anyone who has a longing in their heart to follow Jesus to raise their hand and be prayed for. And to my astonishment, people did! I prayed with more of my heart in that moment than I think I ever had, and every word of it was translated into their language.

I’ve never been to an American prison but from what I’ve seen in documentaries, this prison is different. There are a few rooms where the inmates all sleep on the floor but the rest is just open air space surrounded by a wall maybe eight feet high. After my sermon FOUR men that accepted Christ walked with Jen, Michael and I over near a tree and we tell them the importance of getting involved in a church once they leave jail in order to learn and be in community. I encourage them to see themselves as a light in this dark place while they are still there.

It was at this point that hearing the stories of my new brothers in Christ nearly brought me to tears. One man says he does not know what is to become of his three children while he is in jail. He does not know if they will be attending school, as the new year starts the following week. He goes on to say that many of the men in this prison are there because they have been wrongly accused and they are waiting for their court date. He says while in jail they often dream of going back to these people that have accused them and seeking revenge but when outreach people from Show Mercy come each week and preach the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ, they think of peace and no longer of vengeance. Again, I was taken aback: nine days in Uganda and I am already seeing transformation of lives. How blessed I am just to witness this and be a part of it.

Today more than ever, I look around at beautiful Uganda and I know in my heart that only God could have done this. Only the almighty powerful God could bring a 22 year old musician from Michigan here to bring about his glory. I sit and revel at the fact that I just snacked on a passion fruit and watched Show Mercy’s agriculture team practice jumping on a pogo stick while waiting for a delicious dinner of Matooke. How did this become my life?? Only God could make this happen. Only God could work in the hearts of Ugandan prisoners to get them to a place where the feeble words of an inexperienced evangelist could make a difference in the destiny of their souls.

So today I marvel at what God has done and what God is doing. I look at the brokenness of my life and the things I wish I could change about my heart and I take two steps forward as I once again realize that no matter who you are, God can use you.

Whether it’s for your mind, your talents, your body, or your possessions, most people I know don’t like being used by other people. We often think of being used as being taken advantage of. But today, once again, I learn the valuable lesson that, despite the fact that being used by humans doesn’t always feel so good, being used by God is always an exceptional blessing.

A Public Letter to My Parents

To My Daddy and Ma,

It’s not a secret to anyone that’s been following my story that you’re not exactly crazy about me living in Africa. We’ve had arguments and we’ve shared tears. It’s true that over the past few months I have felt held back by you and other family members, but now as I am on my way, it occurs to me that you never really stood in my way. I think you always knew that you couldn’t stop me even though you wanted to. I want to try to explain to you why this is happening, and the key role you have both played in my decision to fo to Uganda. (Don’t worry it’s not bad).

As a child, and now as a young adult, I have never wanted for anything. You have provided me with every need and desire. You raised me in a home where God was always very accessible. I had every opportunity open to me. I never went hungry or went a day without feeling loved. You delighted in all of my accomplishments, but now, this is an opportunity to see into my heart.

You have provided me with a life so full of love and joy that I simply cannot stay there anymore. I am overcome with a desire to give to others because you have so generously given to me. I can’t stand the thought of children not having food, or access to education, or a loving adult of knowledge of a God who cares deeply for them as I have always had. I’m met by so many people that can’t believe I’m doing this but this is the way it should be. It should be the people with opportunity and resources going to help the ones who have not.

So, and don’t kick yourself, but in a massive, beautiful way, you are partially responsible for my stay in Africa. We’ve both made mistakes but you have done so much right. You have nurtured me exactly as every child deserves and I am now on my way to be used by God in a way that I have always dreamed of.

I know you will worry about me (and I know it’s hard to imagine me taking care of myself in another country when I still leave dirty dishes in the sink) but don’t forget that I will worry about you too. I will miss you more than you would believe.

I love you,

Kelsey

The Devil Is Afraid

Before I told anyone the I was going to Africa I knew I was in for a fight. I was terrified to tell the people that I love most in this world-the people that have known me my whole life. I am beyond thankful for the extraordinary friends and mentors that the Lord has put in my life to give me support in this journey. But I have grieved over the reaction my family had to this profound chapter in my life.

Without a doubt I know that my family loves me. They want me to always be safe and they want what’s best for me. But I also know that they have a hard time seeing outside of what they know. Everyone does.

I anticipated a fight, however, I did not see this battle coming.

On August 1st, I found out I was accepted for this internship with Show Mercy. I was working at Day Camp and waited about two seconds before telling my co-workers and day camp kids this news. I was so excited, I couldn’t contain myself. But even in my excitement, I waited two weeks before telling my mom. I was terrified for how she would respond as I spoke the words. When I finally told her there was crying and yelling and we didn’t speak for about a week after, which is uncommon for us. She was scared for me, and still is. When my dad and grandparents found out, things only got worse.

After seeing all their reactions, I got angry. I got angry that they didn’t understand that this was a true desire of my heart. I was furious that they thought I would go to live in a developing country just to spite them. I didn’t like that they thought I was turning my back on my future teaching career. I found myself wishing they would just be proud of me.

In my short time on earth I have learned how crafty the devil is. I’ve seen it in my own life. He makes soul-sucking things look shiny and good when they’ll actually take you farther from God. I’ve fallen for tricks only to realize in hind sight what was really happening. Satan weaves webs of lies. When describing the devil, Jesus says, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44) Unfortunately, the devil works in the lives of the people around us to confuse us and set us off track.

Satan is doing everything he can to increase fear in the people that care about me, in order that they see those things more clearly than anything else. The devil is trying so hard to stand in my way. He knows my biggest downfalls, my fear of disappointing my family, and he’s using that to try to keep me from going in the name of love. He is sneaky and crafty and everyday is a war against his temptation to lead us away from our creator.

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s sunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:3

This battle started to weigh on me, but after a while it also started to make sense. I have now begun to learn the truth of just how afraid the devil is of our God.

The devil doesn’t want me to go to Africa. The constant fights and roadblocks have made that very clear. The devil is afraid of what I’ll do for GOD while I’m in Uganda. He trembles at the thought of me loving in the name of Jesus, being a light and hope in people’s darkness.

In James 2:19, he writes of the importance of deeds out of our faith in the Lord, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that-and shudders.” Even the devil trembles at the name of the Lord.

I know the Christians in my life believe missions are a great thing, but the devil is setting fears in our minds that make us forget the call we have received from Jesus to love others and the promises that God has made to us that he will never leave us.

With Jesus, the devil has no authority in my life. In the book of Luke, Jesus sends out 72 of his followers. He tells them to go into the cities, living off of the support of the people there, staying in their homes, healing their people. He directed them to say “Woe to you!” to the people that did not welcome them. Luke 10 reads “The seventy-two returned with joy and said, ‘Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.’ He replied, ‘I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.’ “(verses 17-20)

Today things are improving with my mother’s emotional support of my decision to go to Uganda, and I am ecstatic! I couldn’t be happier that we’re finally talking about it and she is helping me prepare. But while still here in America, the biggest sadness I see, is the hearts of many people I love that are not in a place where they can understand why it is imperative that I go. There are tiny details that cause people to feel concerned and unsupportive, but these things are so small compared to the glory that God will reveal in me while in Uganda. The devil is afraid of the glory of God and he will not win, these desperate African people will be loved in His name.

My heart wrenching battle weighs on me everyday; people are so negative to me and they tell me all the ways I will fail. The devil is real, and I see him trying to squish his way into my life. When I get into arguments with members of my family, when people tell me they are unsupportive all I can do is look to my heavenly Father to be my source of strength:

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered in a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

1 Peter 5:8-10, ESV

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Revelation 2:10, NIV

Vaccinated and Thankful

Two days ago I visited Botsford International Travel Clinic and received all the necessary vaccinations and prescriptions for my travel to and stay in Uganda. While I was there I had such a good time talking to the doctor and nurse (who are eager to see pictures upon my return.) I left with bandaids covering shots for Meningitis and Typhoid in one arm, Yellow Fever and the first round of Hepatitis A in the other, and prescriptions for Malaria and travelers diarrhea medication.

It’s incredibly astounding to me that I live in a country where I can make an appointment, walk in to a medical center and receive all these vaccinations and drugs to protect myself from the diseases of this world. And beyond that-walk out only paying a small co-pay. The medical attention I receive in this country is something I have always taken for granted, and that will continue to become more clear to me as I go to live in a land where the native people struggle to find clean water, let alone precautionary medicine.

For many reasons, I have had people choose to not support me in my decision to spend three months in Africa this winter and most of those reasons have been related to their concern for my health and well being while overseas. I would like to address concerns that have been brought to my attention by several of you, namely- Ebola.

Ebola is a very deadly disease that was first discovered in 1976. This disease is very infectious but not extremely contagious.1 Ebola is not an airborne illness, such as the flu, but is transmitted by direct contact with fluids from an infected person. In 2014, cases of Ebola have been found in Guinea, Liberia, Mali (1 case, originating from Guinea), Nigeria, Senegal (originating from Guinea as well), Sierra Leone, Spain and the United States.

Nigeria is only a few countries away from Uganda, but according to the World Health Organization, after the 20 cases there were contained, as of October 20th, Nigeria is free from Ebola transmission2. In August, the Democratic Republic of Congo reported to the World Health Organization a small outbreak of Ebola, resulting in less than 50 deaths. This outbreak is unrelated to the outbreak in West Africa and is located in a part of the country farthest from Uganda’s borders, and according to NBC News, the Congo has announced the end of their outbreak after only 3 months.3

According to the Center for Disease Control, there have been 0 reported cases of Ebola in Uganda in 2014. The biggest reason for this is that Uganda is located approximately 4,000 miles from the region where the main Ebola outbreak is located right now. This is approximately the same distance from Juneau, Alaska to Orlando, Florida. I think it is also important to mention that people do not move around in Africa quite like they do in America. A great amount of traveling occurs on foot or by motorcycle (called bodas) and Uganda is separated from West Africa by several mountain ranges, the Congo Basin and countless rivers. Traveling by plane, thousands of miles for vacations or trips is not a common occurrence for people in these countries that cannot even afford food.

I recently spoke with a family friend that spent 10 weeks in Uganda over the summer, right when this Ebola epidemic became the biggest subject line of every news story. She told me, when she was there, Ebola was something that was talked about but not worried over. As far as other dangers and safety precautions go, her biggest piece of advice to me was to just be smart. Just like I wouldn’t walk down any city street here, by myself at night, I shouldn’t do it there either. Just like I wouldn’t get into a cab with a drunk driver here, I wouldn’t get on a boda in Uganda being operated by someone under the influence. She encouraged me to wear helmet on a boda, just like I would on a motorcycle in the states. These are all decisions I feel comfortable making while in Uganda.

I greatly appreciate the care and concern everyone has for my safety and health but I would like to state that any time we follow the Lord, we accept the inherent risks of the particular assignment He has given us, keeping in mind that He is fully capable of protecting us and providing for us in any circumstance. This experience will require that I rely upon the Lord more than I ever have in my life and I am so looking forward to growing closer to Him because of that.

Even if you do not wish to donate to me financially, please be praying for me. This is not something I can do without the encouragement and support of the people around me. Where I am going is perhaps not as safe as the suburban streets where I grew up, and definitely not what we, as Americans, would consider comfortable, but Uganda is where the Lord is calling me to go. There was once a famous missionary from England named William Carey, who spent more than half his life in India. In 1792 he wrote to his supporters saying, “I will descend into the pit, if you will hold tightly to the ropes.” So please, be praying for my health, safety, and ministry.

So, in this holiday season I am indeed highly vaccinated-one step closer to making this dream a reality. But I am also highly thankful. I have spent the whole month of school teaching my students about gratitude (my school’s moral focus of the month), and on this Thanksgiving I have gratitude that I live in a country where I can receive remarkable healthcare so easily, which allows me to go into the world to do the Lord’s work. I am thankful that there is a God who loves me enough to send His son to die for me and he now watches over me and protects my every step.

The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121:5-8

1 “Ebola Fast Facts.” CNN. Cable News Network, 25 Nov. 2014. Web. 18 Nov. 2014.           <http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/11/health/ebola-fast-facts/&gt;.

2 “Nigeria Is Now Free of Ebola Virus Transmission.” WHO. World Health Organization, 20 Oct. 2014. Web. 18 Nov. 2014.
<http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/ebola/20-october-2014/en/&gt;.

3 Fox, Maggie. “A Tale of Two Outbreaks: Why Congo Conquered Ebola.” NBC News. N.p., 24 Nov. 2014. Web. 26 Nov. 2014.
<http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/ebola-virus-outbreak/tale-two-outbreaks-why-congo-conquered-ebola-n253911&gt;.